The Complex Relationship Between a Boss and His Buddy

In brief: A critical employee of mine is causing me problems. He has taken on a negative attitude and has begun to be tardy to work. My other workers aren't happy about picking up his slack, so they're complaining. I've attempted to communicate with him, but he remains unresponsive. On top of that, since I employed him five years ago, he has become my best buddy, so I can't imagine ever terminating him. How should I proceed?
[By] Allen S.

A: I am highly competent to disseminate since...



Keywords: Equal treatment for all, small business


Section B: Question: I am having problems with one of my important employees. He has taken on a negative attitude and has begun to be tardy to work. My other workers aren't happy about picking up his slack, so they're complaining. I've attempted to communicate with him, but he remains unresponsive. On top of that, since I employed him five years ago, he has become my best buddy, so I can't imagine ever terminating him. How should I proceed?
[By] Allen S.

I have made every single type of business mistake imaginable, Allen, which is why I am well-qualified to provide you sound counsel every week. In the world of small company, I'm like Evel Knievel if she wrote a column on motorbike safety every week.

My friend's dismissal from his position was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do. I figured I'd give him a go because he was unemployed and I needed help with my business. It was a match made in corporate hell, as it turned out. He used our friendship to his advantage by being chronically tardy to work, wasting time playing games instead of getting anything done, and taking my criticisms of his behaviour personally. Due to our friendship, I justified his behaviour to my other staff; but, after a couple of weeks, I realised it was time to let him go. Although our friendship has changed, we are still close.

My initial hiring of a friend was the mistake. My business sense was overridden by my emotions, specifically my desire to assist my friend in securing job. I hate to be the one to break it to you, Allen, but this one person's actions might have a domino effect on your entire organisation, and that's exactly what you're doing right now.

Your friendship with an employee is a huge mistake since it shows that you have no boundaries. I don't mean you can't have a good working connection with your employees; I just mean that you've brought a lot of baggage into the employer/employee dynamic, which has led to the current predicament.

Just because they are buddies doesn't mean they deserve special treatment. But whether they're buddies or not, your staff should be able to compete fairly on the job. Showing favouritism to one employee over another is never an excellent notion, even though employees deserve your respect (if it is deserved). A lot of bosses and company owners face this issue when they get too close to their staff.

You should think about how his actions are affecting your company as a whole, even though he has become a friend to you over the years and you would prefer to eat rocks than fire him. Does he have any impact on the bottom line, employee morale, work schedules, customer relations, the amount of time spent rectifying his blunders, or any of those things?

Getting him back on track or removing him from payroll are your two choices. Although it may come across as politically incorrect and icy, those are the only options available to you. Your role as his employer must always take precedence over your role as his friend. You have no right to legally dig into his personal life as an employer, even if he has personal reasons for his performance. But, I assume that, as his friend, you are already well-informed about the issue. Do all it takes to get him back to contributing to the team's success. If it's not, then it's best to send your best wishes, release him, and go on.

Here are some pointers to help you set and stick to the limits of your relationship with your employees.

Tell me what the connection is. This is going to be short and sweet, Dr. Phil. Stay still. From the very beginning, the terms of the employer-employee relationship should be very clear. Some refer to it as "establishing the food chain" or "defining the pecking order." Whatever flowery word you choose, the bottom line is that you have the option of becoming their boss or their buddy. No one can be both.

Relatives and friends should not be hired. When a parent employs their children to work for the family business, this rule can be easily bent. Managing your children in a corporate setting probably comes naturally to you, and your children probably already see you as the ultimate authority figure. Even if this isn't the case, it could still hurt your company because even non-related workers tend to look down on bosses who are linked to them and expect them to get special treatment, higher pay, and less labour. Regardless of its veracity, cronyism and nepotism can cause friction within an organisation.

Create and follow all business policies. Your company's conduct and performance standards, like any other part of the operation, should be outlined in written policy. There will inevitably be favouritism in every relationship between an employer and an employee. Managers will naturally reward employees who put in more time and effort, but there should be zero tolerance for individuals who are already well-liked when it comes to following corporate policy. It is important that all employees get a copy of the published company policies and sign a document acknowledging their understanding and agreement with them.

The most important thing is to be fair to everyone. Employees at all levels of your organisation, from the vice president down to the caretaker, should be held to the same standards of conduct and performance objectives outlined in writing.

Although a caretaker may not be as valuable to your company as a vice president who occasionally lets a toilet back up, a caretaker who is out of control can cause far more harm than the former. I'll let you figure out the comparison.

Business as usual; nothing personal is at stake. Just before the filming begins, these are the words that the villains in the film utter to one other. Listen, Paulie, this isn't about you. Nothing personal. Whoop whoop! The dating world's version of "It's not you, it's me." No one will feel better about getting dumped or fired after hearing these kinds of remarks. Ask each ex-girlfriend or coworker you've ever used this line on.

Professionally follow all procedures when terminating an employee, even if it's a friend.

Putting your feelings aside and doing what's best for your company will be difficult, but necessary.

Best of luck to you.

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